Temporary Bliss
by Santai
Summary: Sam had long ago come to terms with his 'relationship' with the Trickster. Happy wasn't the word he would use to describe how he felt about it, but at least content. But, the recent revelation about his true identity has thrown his emotions into turmoil


**Hey guys! Hooray you were actually drawn in by my terrible summary...I suck so bad at them D: anyway! This is a song inspired fic and has been named after it. In case you want to go looking for it, it's by The Cab, look them up. They're beautiful. Anyway! Onto the fic itself which is why you're here i guess, not to listen to me ramble, so i'll leave now. Though I would appreciate a review? Kthanxbai 3**

It was dark in the motel room; Sam hadn't bothered to turn on the main light, so the only illumination came from a single bedside lamp. He was alone, at least for now. Dean had gone out on his own version of 'research' and would probably be gone all night. That left the younger brother sat, staring at a computer screen, not reading anything that was there. He'd started with good intentions. To continue to try and find a way around the whole 'apocalypse' situation, but that had soon lead to Archangels which in turn had lead his thoughts astray to not so unfamiliar territory of their recent run in with Gabriel.

It was still hard to imagine the guy he'd known for such a long time as the Trickster, demi-god, and pain in the ass with super powers. How could someone like that be anything akin to Michael, Raphael, hell, even Lucifer? Although, the revelation did explain a couple of things. Sam had never been able to imagine why a Trickster would take such an interest in them, in Sam. He had never been able to explain why his dreams involving the guy in question had been so damn vivid.

"What'cha doin'?" an amused voice asked over his shoulder.

Sam leapt out of his chair as a lance of fear shot into his stomach, before blowing out a slow calming breath upon seeing who it was, trying to slow his now speeding heartbeat. The Trickster – Archangel Gabriel – didn't even seem to notice the outburst and was now leaning lazily over the back of the chair Sam had just been sat in, peering at the screen, reading the article with a bored expression.

"Gabe..." Sam breathed eventually. The name felt strange passing his lips now.

Gabriel didn't move his gaze, now distracted by clicking off the screen onto something else cheek resting on the heel of his hand, "You see where the name comes from now?"

It hadn't been until the third time the two of them had met in private that Sam had even thought to ask for a name. Of course, at the time the name Gabriel had never passed the Trickster's lips, but still Sam felt pretty stupid now not making the connection back then.

"Honest mistake."

A frown creased Sam's forehead, "I thought we agreed no mind-reading."

Gabriel's lips lifted into a momentary smirk as his honey gaze flitted up to meet Sam's. The latter couldn't help but notice how the glare from the computer seemed to make the Archangel's eyes literally sparkle. Sam swallowed.

"Well what can I say?" Gabriel shrugged casually, turning his gaze back to the computer as he shut the lip of the laptop and stood upright, "I'm not exactly one for sticking to the rules," he smirked again, looking Sam up and down before taking a step closer, breaching Sam's personal space and occupying it wholly, dominating Sam's attention with that soft turn of the head and half smile that showed off both those sharp eyes and the sharp flicks in his hair. Sam felt warm hands settle on his hips.

Sam's eyes darted between Gabriel's quickly, nervously, as he subconsciously leant away. Gabriel raised an eyebrow questioningly, the coy smile still well in place as he leant forward keeping the distance between them constant.

"What's the matter Sammy?" he whispered, warm sweet scented breath brushing on Sam's jaw bone, his eyes fixed on Sam's stammering lips, "It's not like this is the first time now is it?" he wiggled his eyebrows.

All Sam seemed to be able to do was lick his lips anxiously. A part of him had known this was coming. The Trickster had a habit of conveniently dropping by whenever Sam was going to be alone for the night ever since they had first met. He'd been a Demi-god's booty call for a while now. It never used to bother him, it was just another messed up part of his messed up life. But now, with Gabriel – _Archangel Gabriel for Christ sake_ – just over a hand's breadth from his face, despite the Trickster grin, the Trickster glint in those glorious golden eyes, suddenly Sam could practically see a halo. It seemed to the whole situation into a whole new world of whack job. He made another false start in an attempt to talk but Gabriel seemed to catch on and leant back, his eyes sparkling with curiosity as Sam was surveyed.

"It's the halo isn't it?" he asked after a moment, taking a small step back, "You prefer the dark side, black eyes and devil's horns, don't ya Sammy?" he chuckled, "You know a fetish like that could get you into serious trouble."

Now that there was distance between them, Sam finally seemed to find his voice, "You're a freaking _Archangel_, Gabe!"

Gabriel raised a lazy eyebrow and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "You say it like it should change anything."

Sam's mouth dropped open incredulously, "It changes everything!"

Gabriel's second eyebrow rose at the force of the statement and grinned, "Ooh Sammy that could be taken as discrimination. It's a good thing there isn't an angel helpline else you would be in big trouble."

Sam's fists clenched, "Is everything a joke to you?"

The grin faded into an overly exaggerated thoughtful expression, pursing his lips and eyes averted up to the ceiling, "Mostly," he decided after a while, nodding to himself as though happy with his decision.

Sam clenched his jaw in frustration.

Gabriel spread his arms in front of him, palms up, "What's wrong Sammy? Don't you feel privileged to be so high up in an Archangel's attention?"

Sam narrowed his eyes, "An Archangel's bitch you mean?" he spat, glad that now Gabriel had backed off he was able to actually speak coherently.

Gabriel's hands lifted up in front of him in a gesture of surrender but the cocky grin that Sam was beginning to loathe stayed firmly in place, "Whoa now, Sammy-boy, don't start flexing those muscles of yours, I may not be able to control myself," he winked, which only gained him a frustrated sigh from Sam as he ran a hand through his hair.

"You're impossible."

"You've never complained before."

Sam rubbed his hands over his face. There was just no way to have a serious conversation with this guy, "I never knew what you really were before!"

Gabriel's head fell back onto his shoulders with realisation, "Oh! So that's what this is about?" he asked, somewhat sober for the first time since he'd arrived, "So it was ok to be doing to dirty with a Trickster but _now_, the angel thing...what? Feels wrong?"

The question was genuine. Gabe really did want to know how Sam was feeling, what he was thinking. His gaze had become intense and was fixed unblinkingly on him; Sam couldn't bring himself to meet it. He licked his lips anxiously again.

Gabriel's eyebrows rose expectantly at the movement but when there was no subsequent sentences the Archangel sighed, "Come on, throw me a bone Sam. Don't make me go in there," he pointed at Sam's forehead.

Another long moment passed before Sam swallowed, knowing he would have to speak sometime before Gabriel went through with his threat. It had done it before. He started with a shrug, "I-I dunno, I feel like...like you should have told me or something, about, you know, what you are."

Gabriel looked at him like he was stupid, "Well for one, you never asked, you just presumed and I went along with it because let's face it I make a better Trickster than Archangel."

Sam looked to the floor, completely unsure how to phrase how he felt. He'd been ok with being the Trickster's booty call because what more could a being like that possibly feel towards him? It didn't matter what Sam felt in return. He had come to terms that it would never be returned. But an angel, a being pretty much the mascot of compassion and love...Suddenly it seemed like there would be a chance. He didn't want to just be the infrequent companion that was barely thought twice about. He wanted to actually mean something to Gabriel. The way Dean clearly meant something to Cas.

When Sam finally lifted his head to look back to Gabriel, the Archangel was looking at him in a new, more understanding manner, head cocked slightly, expression neutral but gentle. Immediately, Sam flushed bright red.

"We agreed no mind-reading!" he tried to yell but it came out more of a stuttering mumble as his cheeks burned.

A smile pulled at Gabe's lips but it seemed false. It only lasted a couple of seconds before it faded and Gabriel looked to the floor, silent.

Sam just ran a hand through his hair and dropped onto the bed, trying to bury his face in the palms of his hands. The silence ached, but Sam couldn't bring himself to look at the Archangel to see what he was doing. He bit his lip and swallowed, arms dropping away to hang limply over his thighs, "I just feel like a plaything you just forget about," he said quietly, "You drop in for a single night, barely a 'hey how are you', then you blow out of here the first chance you get. I don't hear from you for weeks, months even, then it happens all over again and it just feels like a dream." There wasn't much he could say that the mind-reading Archangel didn't already know. Sam just wanted something to break the deafening silence that was enveloping them

His voice drifted away, back into that uneasy silence when Gabe didn't take his cue to speak. This was a first. In all the time Sam had known the Trickster, he'd never been lost of words, always the one with the witty comeback that snapped your mouth shut with the knowledge that anything you said would only make things worse. When Sam finally looked at Gabriel, the Archangel was staring intently at the floor, eyes narrowed ever so slightly and brow ever so slightly furrowed. Sam shuffled nervously.

"Gabe. Say something?" Sam asked quietly, "Please?"

He squirmed when Gabriel's eyes moved and met Sam's, gaze gentle, "You want to know there's something more?" he said it like a question but it was clear that Gabriel already knew the answer. Of course he did. He'd read Sam's mind for God's sake.

"I-I guess...yeah, yeah I do," Sam nodded finally, becoming more sure of himself now that the whole messy thing was out in the open.

Gabriel looked away again for another long, thoughtful gaze around the room this time. Eventually he gave a breathy chuckle, "Now that's a whole new ball game," he muttered under his breath before disappearing without a sound.

Sam sat up suddenly and glanced around the room, eyes wide, "Gabe!" he called desperately.

But the Archangel was gone. A pained groan forced itself out of Sam's lips as he screwed up his face angrily and slammed his fists into the mattress of the bed. He'd ruined it. Ruined everything. So yeah maybe he was just a booty-call, but at least he'd been something to the guy. Someone he came back to in the end. But now, Sam had revealed everything – albeit against his will – and Gabe had been scared off. Just great.

Dean had returned by the morning and together the two of them had packed up and left. He hadn't even registered the slightly sombre mood Sam was in and therefore didn't ask about what had happened while he had been out. Not that he would have gotten much of an answer. Dean didn't know about the Trickster's late night visits to his brother, Sam had managed to keep it a secret, knowing full well how he would react. Not that it mattered anymore. There wasn't much chance of Gabriel coming back again.

He lightly tapped his head in annoyance against the car window that he was leaning on as they drove some road towards somewhere or other. Sam hadn't been paying attention when Dean had been talking. He had been too distracted being annoyed at himself as he ran the memory of the previous night over in his head. He tapped the window again, this time slightly harder, as though trying to somehow knock the thoughts right out of his head.

"Whoa, whoa, Sammy, if you wanna get out of the car, tell me and use the door handle," Dean joked beside him, "Don't head butt your way through the window. You'll damage the car."

Sam turned his head to answer his brother's smug, 'I am hilarious' grin but before he had the chance to open his mouth, when his phone vibrated in his pocket. With a small frown he dug it out and peered at the screen. There was one message from an unknown number. His frown deepened as he opened it, while at the same time trying to subtly manoeuvre the phone out of Dean's line of sight seeing as his brother was not so subtly trying to read it at the same time.

_So, I thought we should start over: *ahem* I don't know if you remember me, but we've met a few times now. My name's Gabriel (please call me Gabe, I'm begging you) and I thought maybe we should go for a drink some time? Oh and how are you?_

_G_

Dean is still suspicious of the grin that Sam had plastered on his face for the next hour.

**Hey! it's me again! the one from the beginning. Neeway, just wanted to say that i hoped you enjoyed it and that i'm not sure whether this is going to be a one-shot or not considering i have quite a few other things swimming around in my head at the moment so yeah...it's in the maybe pile...but yes...**

**I can has reviews? They are the pie to my dean...**

**3**


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